Mary or Martha?? (some random thoughts as I evaluated my recent mindset)

Luke 10:38-42

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

We see here a justifiably busy woman vs. another woman who puts worship and learning in the presence of her Lord above everything else. I mean its not like Martha was off doing her own thing and forgot all about the Lord. She was doing work specifically with Him in mind! Yet she failed to do the most important thing. To BE with Him! I just think it is such an important to not get so caught up in doing work for Jesus that we forget to have a relationship with Him.

We can SO easily get caught up in the business of life. For me, this has been the last 6 months. Just one thing after another, planning a wedding, itinerating, getting everything ready for our big move, moving, now learning the culture and language, starting full-time ministry for the first time and as a newly wedded young woman. And all of this is good! Its all for Him and His glory, yet time and time again I have to catch myself from forgetting to just BE with Him. Im doing so much but I MUST remember WHO I am living for. 

I just know for myself that when I get so busy with life and stop having my devotion time and spending time in the Word and in prayer, I become so selfish, prideful, weak minded, and I completely lose my focus. Just as Martha did, she was so caught up and anxious and so off focus! Jesus pretty much said, “Relax Martha! don't worry about all that stuff, just come and be with me!” I KNOW that when I make sure I spend time with my Lord daily, even during the most chaotic times, I have complete peace and focus and such strength, even at my weakest times.

I just really want to encourage everyone to not neglect their time with the Lord. We are all so busy and have so much on our plates, but time with the Lord should be number 1 priority!! I honestly cant go through a day with time with the Lord, and if I do, you will ALL know it! I NEED my Lord, every single moment of my day! 

“O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or What shall we wear? For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:30-34

When we go so long without time with our Lord we tend to take on things and burdens that weigh us down. But when we spend time with Him, He reminds us that those burdens are not meant for us to bear. We are NOT to be ANXIOUS, we are to TRUST in Him, HE is in control, NOT us! This is His plan, not ours, we don’t have to worry. Just trust Him, walk by faith, and be obedient. 

He says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Learning to Walk in Freedom - Youth Alive

Youth Alive - February 8-12, 2013

So I gotta start this blog off by saying that the whole Youth Alive experience was SO stretching for me!! It literally took about two days for me to recover LOL! So, for those who don't know what Youth Alive is, join the club. No, but seriously, I don't know all the nitty gritty details of WHAT Youth Alive is, but I have experienced first hand what it does.
Lives were changed for God's glory. It was grounded on the Word of God. It had a great structure yet the Holy Spirit wasn't hindered from moving powerfully. Overall, it was an amazing experience!! Stretching yet SO amazing.

Jesse and I were asked to do workshops for the youth that weekend. We decided to do separate ones. I did one for the girls and Jesse did one for the guys. In my workshop I shared my testimony, talked about obstacles in life that hinder us from walking in freedom (fear, impurity, bitterness, etc.), and encouraged them all to start walking in the freedom that God has given them. It was powerful! So many  lives were changed for God's glory, so many girls let go of hinderances, and so many girls chose that weekend to step into the freedom God has for them!

Jesse's workshop was amazing as well! He also shared his testimony and talked about stepping out of immaturity and stepping into spiritual maturity. God SHOWED up in His workshops! The guys were being filled with the Holy Spirit, prophetic words were given, lives were CHANGED! Even at the end of the weekend one of the guys (who was filled with the Holy Spirit and set free from many addictions in Jesse's workshop) testified infront of all the youth about what God had done and then started encouraging them all to walk in their freedom as well! It was so powerful and amazing to see how God had transformed his life in just a matter of a couple days!

God is just so good and it was such a privilege to be there and get to witness His work in their lives!!! God is just doing such amazing things!

The part for me that was stretching was the fact that we were asked to do this like a couple days before we needed to be there! I tend to get flustered when asked to do such important things so last minute! God is just showing me that relying on the Holy Spirit in a last minute thing is far more effective than preparing something so far in advance in my own strength. Both preparation and relying on the Holy Spirit are essential, but I tend to try to do things in my own strength and God has really been teaching me total reliance on Him!

I like to keep my blogs short so Im done for today BUT I have some pretty awesome news that I cant wait to share with everyone soon! Thank you all so much for your prayers!

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and He WILL make straight your path!" Proverbs 3:5-6

I Am Not Brave.

Over the past couple days these song lyrics have been repeated over and over in my mind.

"I am not brave
I'll never be
The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy
I'm just a girl
Nothing more
But I am willing, I am Yours."


These past 3 weeks here in Germany have been intense for me. Honestly, this past YEAR has been intense for me. My type A personality that needs clearly defined boundaries and rules, a strict schedule, occasional naps, everything in place, and a good plan - has been completely out of whack. I have gone from bed to bed, home to home, time zone to time zone, culture to culture, language to language, and NO plan! This is my new normal. And as much of an adventure it is, my life is completely different than it EVER has been. I never know whats coming next, Im never certain of anything, theres no reason to make plans because they are always changing, and I cant remember the last time I took a nice nap! Oh and to top it off I never was one to get sick, but let me tell you, in this past year I have never gotten more sick. I know this sounds like Im complaining, Im not. In fact, I have never been more content.

I AM NOT BRAVE. Nope, not me, not in myself. And Im ACTUALLY ok with that.

I will be the first one to say that I have never been more weak.

But isnt that where TRUE strength starts?? When I am at the complete end of myself, THATS when God comes with all HIS strength and grace. For the moment.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."" 1 Corinthians 12:9

I love this quote that says, "That is, the strength which God imparts to His people is more commonly and more completely manifested when people feel that they are weak. It is not imparted to those who feel that they are strong and who do not realize their need of divine aid. It is not so completely manifested to those who are vigorous and strong as to the feeble. It is when we are conscious that we are feeble, and when we feel our need of aid, that the Redeemer manifests his power to uphold, and imparts his purest consolations."

When I am weak, then HE is strong.

I NEED God. Every step of this journey. I can't do all of this by myself. I cannot love Jesse and be the wife I am meant to be without the DAILY help of my Lord. I cannot love and serve people without HIS love, strength, wisdom. I just can't. But HE can :) and thats where I boast! I boast in my weakness because THATS when God is glorified :) I will not be able to glory in myself. Just my Lord :) THATS why I'm so content even in my discomfort. Because although my physical body is uncomfortable, my spirit is at peace :)

And just like the lyrics say, "The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy." Thats it. I have nothing else to offer except myself. My heart. 

"I am willing, I am YOURS."